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TikTok Star Does the Math on Being a Parent: ‘It’s Impossible’

One parent feeding a baby in a high chair while the other works on a laptop on the couch.

Image source: Getty Images

Have you ever looked at your checking account and wondered if someone’s playing a cruel joke? Like, how is it possible to work full-time, raise kids, and somehow still be staring down the barrel of debt — or worse, delaying retirement until you’re 80?

TikTok star Paige Turner has done the math, and it’s worse than you think. It’s nearly impossible for most Americans to budget to raise kids, avoid debt, and retire on time. And honestly, she’s not wrong.

Let’s break it down, starting with the school schedule, because, spoiler alert, it’s a nightmare.

School schedules are a financial nightmare

If you’ve got kids in elementary school, you already know the chaos of juggling work and school schedules. Turner’s kids recently brought home their school calendar, and what she saw sent her into a panic. “They’ve got 12 half-days and seven no-school days this year,” she explains, “and that’s not even counting holidays like Veterans Day or Memorial Day.”

So, for 19 random days throughout the year, Turner is either burning through her PTO or shelling out money for child care — $90 per kid for a half-day and $120 for a full day. And Turner’s got two kids. “That’s $3,800 just to cover those days off,” she says, “and it doesn’t even include school vacations.”

Want to view all your child care (and other) expenses in one place? Check out our list of the best budgeting apps to help organize your finances.

Vacation days are a hidden expense

Then, there’s the dreaded school vacation weeks. Turner counted up 18 vacation days scattered across the calendar, including winter and spring breaks. “My husband and I combined have 35 PTO days,” she says, “but we need 37 to cover all these school days off!” And that’s not even factoring in the inevitable sick days when a kid comes home with the flu, and you’re scrambling to juggle work, child care, and your own health.

After-school care can be $19,000

Let’s not forget after-school care. Most working parents can’t clock out by 3 p.m. to pick up their kids, so they rely on after-school programs. Turner estimates that after-school care sets her back about $19,000 per year. Add that to the no-school days and holidays, and she’s already looking at a $22,800 bill for child care just to keep her kids safe while she works.

Don’t forget about summer camp

And then there’s summer camp. Turner points out that her kids’ summer break is 10 weeks long. “We’re looking at $7,000 just for camp,” she explains, “and that’s on the low end!” Combine that with the school-year child care costs, and Turner is spending over $30,000 annually on child care alone — and that doesn’t even include extracurricular activities or unexpected expenses like field trips.

Crunching the numbers

The average dual-income household earns about $127,590 per year before taxes. After tax, that leaves a typical family around $112,279 in take-home pay.

Next, subtract $30,000 for child care expenses, leaving $82,279.

After accounting for average living expenses for a family of four, which is about $58,000 annually, you’re left with $24,279 for the year.

Financial experts suggest saving 15% of your income — about $19,139 for this family — for retirement, which leaves $5,140.

If you’re saving for college, you may need to contribute several thousand per year to fully fund a four-year degree. That could either leave you with a small cushion or could exceed your remaining budget, potentially leaving you short on funds for unexpected expenses like medical bills, car repairs, or family vacations.

Of course, saving for college is optional, and there are scholarships, financial aid, and more to help bring those costs down. Saving for retirement is a higher priority, so be sure that’s budgeted first before saving for college.

Looking for a good plan to get started with retirement savings? Check out our list of the best IRAs.

Managing school schedules without breaking the bank

If you’re a parent, you know the headache of balancing work and your kids’ school schedules. Half-days, no-school days, and unexpected closures can send your budget into a tailspin. Here’s how you can take control:

  1. Plan ahead for no-school days: Look at the school calendar early. If your workplace offers flexible scheduling, try banking your PTO strategically for those 19 random days off. Or, team up with other parents to share child care duties.
  2. Budget for after-school care: With after-school options costing up to $19,000 annually, shop around for more affordable options. Consider alternatives like nanny-shares or asking a trusted neighbor if they can pitch in.
  3. Get creative with summer camps: Summer camp costs can be brutal, often exceeding $7,000. Look for discounted or city-sponsored programs and book early to get better rates. Also, mix in lower-cost activities like local day camps or sports clinics to spread out the expense.
  4. Maximize PTO and sick days: If you’re running low on PTO, check if your company allows unpaid leave or flexible hours. Create a backup child-care plan for sick days, like a family member or alternate sitter.

The math just doesn’t work

So when Turner says it’s nearly impossible to raise kids and avoid debt or retire on time, she’s not exaggerating. The math simply doesn’t work. Even with an average dual-income household, you’re left scrambling between covering child care costs, managing daily living expenses, and trying to save for both retirement and your kids’ college tuition.

Most families are left with no choice but to cut corners, take on debt, or delay retirement well beyond their 60s. Until we fix the skyrocketing child care costs and overhaul the system to support working parents, families will continue to struggle with this impossible equation.

In the meantime, Turner’s viral TikTok video is a reality check for all of us doing the mental math on how to survive modern parenthood without sinking into debt.

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